Credit Crunch Tips


DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog poos in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.


DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.


SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.


HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.


OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.


SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.


SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.


OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.


WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house afterwards.