You’ve got your World Cup tickets and you’ve booked your flights to the far side of Africa. You’ve secured travel insurance, a stab vest and a witchdoctor’s blessing. You’ve attached bells to your children and handcuffs to your valuables. You’ve bought malaria pills, sunblock, insect, lion and AIDS repellent. You’re right to be prepared for your African adventure but you’ve completely forgotten to pack some smarts…

Common misconceptions

Contrary to popular belief, South Africa is not dirt poor with an unstable government. True, there are townships and areas suffering shameful poverty but progress is being made. Yes, white people do live there, as do Asians and a variety of other ethnicities. South Africa has a well-developed infrastructure that supports all the modern amenities you’re used to.

Pharmacies and chemists are spread throughout the country and some are open 24 hours. Tap water is safe to drink although some may prefer the taste of bottled water. And even though the World Cup will be hosted during South Africa’s wintertime, it can still get very hot during the day and sunscreen is advisable.

Travel and public transport

Arriving in the country is easy enough as the main travel centres around the world connect directly with OR Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg – the busiest airport in Africa. When it comes to travelling within South Africa you’ll pay exorbitant prices to go by plane, but only during the World Cup. Metered taxis are available in all the major cities and you will find ‘un-metred’ minibus taxis operating everywhere in the country but, although cheap, these rarely comply with safety standards and will make many detours. Trains are best avoided. Car hire is probably your best option.

Driving dos and don’ts

When driving, remember to keep on the left side of the road and keep your wits about you for unsafe drivers, people crossing highways in urban centres and animals on roads outside of the cities. At night it is acceptable to cross over a red robot if you do not feel safe and you’ve checked for traffic. Also, keep your belongings out of sight and under the passenger seat, not on it. Keeping your windows closed and doors locked will help make you an unattractive target to ‘smash ‘n grab’ thieves. Try find a well-lit street to park in at night, more than likely there will be ‘car guards’ patrolling the street in exchange for a tip of two Rand and upwards.

Hitchhiking and picking up hitchhikers are both bad ideas. Evening strolls or walking to a venue after dark can be highly dangerous in certain areas and it is not recommended.

Safety first

In South Africa there is a high level of serious crime so it is better to be aware and alert than ignorant. Stab proof vests are as effective as wearing blood to a bullfight, they will not only single you out as a stupid tourist but also, now that you’ve ruled out the knife option, could provoke the use of guns against you.

The majority of baddies come out at night and the centres of major cities and township areas are to be avoided. If you’re planning on visiting a township then do so on an organised tour run by a reputable company. The inner suburbs of Johannesburg (Berea and Hillbrow) and the beachfront in Durban are particularly prone to crime, so stay away.

Safety smart tips:

- Before flying into SA, get your luggage plastic wrapped and keep any expensive electronics and jewellery in your carry on bag.

- Never stop to clear debris off the road, this is a common hijacking ploy.

- If you do get attacked or hijacked then don’t be a hero, forfeit your possessions rather than your life. Victims of violent crime should seek medical assistance at a private hospital.

- Never leave the car to photograph wild animals when on safari. And, no matter how cute that monkey looks, resist the urge to feed it or any other wild animal.

- If hiking up Table Mountain, do sp in groups of no less than four to deter muggers.

Be careful of your money

Always be mindful of what you’re doing. Keep valuables out of sight, do not change large sums of money in busy public areas and put your cash away before you leave the ATM or store.

ATM’s are abundant. Credit cards and pin-based debit cards are accepted almost everywhere in the cities. Tips of around 10% of a restaurant bill are considered the norm. And outside of retail stores it’s fair to negotiate on price.

Look after yourself

South Africa’s private healthcare is world-class but it is not cheap, get comprehensive travel insurance. Malaria is not an issue in most parts of South Africa apart from the north-eastern areas including the Kruger National Park and north coast. Consult your doctor regarding appropriate precautions.

Smoking is banned in all enclosed public spaces. If you forget to bring sunglasses, medication or insect repellent, don't panic - you can buy whatever you need in SA. It is suggested to wear sunscreen even though it is winter. And lastly, it is true that SA has some of the most beautiful bodies in the world, but one in 10 are living with HIV so be wise and condomise.

Speak the lingo

English is the lingua franca but it has been influenced by the other 10 official languages which means you’ll most likely encounter the following unique words:

• Aweh! – interjection said in excitement or as a greeting

• Howzit or heita - hello, how are you (‘howzit bru’)

• Boet, bru, china, ou, oke - tantamount to dude or bro

• Robot - traffic light (‘make a left at the robot’)

• Fundi - an expert (‘he’s a soccer fundi’)

• Sure-sure - pronounced sho-sho, correct, agreement, thank you

• Sharp! - said quickly, acknowledgment or agreement, ok

• Braai – barbeque

• Chow – to eat (‘chow your meat off the braai’)

• Izit or isit? – is that so?

• Just now - in a while, sometime soon (‘I’ll do it just now’)

• Eish - interjection used mostly to indicate resignation (‘eish, own goal!’ or ‘eish that’s kak’)

• Kak, pronounced cuck – not good or literally means turd (‘he played kak today’)

• Klap  - pronounced clup, a strike or smack (“go now or I’ll klap you”)

• Yebo – yes