Some three centuries later, Shakespeare’s ideas, stories and poems are still relevant and quoted the world over. His opinion that love doesn’t run smoothly might be even more relevant today than it was on that midsummer’s night. And it has never been more true than in the context of cross-cultural dating.
Dating abroad
As children of southern Africa we are fortunate that our society and collective culture is a melting pot of races, ethnicities and cultures. As more and more South Africans find themselves adapting to life in foreign countries, we also find ourselves entangled in international romantic adventures, some in which subtitles may be required.
Living and working in foreign countries exposes us to all sorts of new experiences, sounds, tastes, languages, cultures and people, away from ingrained dating laws of who to date, where to go and when to introduce them to the family. We have to learn new rules, or make them up as we go.
Tips when starting to date a foreigner
– Forget the stereotype. Not all Italian men are sleazy and certainly not all Dutch people smoke weed
– Know the history. Brush up on South African history as well as that of your date
The stage on which Shakespearean narratives are set, are almost always exotic locations. And quite often, the lovers find themselves escaping to these locations. The fact is, any spontaneity your foreign partner might display by surprising you with tickets for a weekend away is very likely to be met with the phrase ‘but I need a visa’. Unfortunately for those who hold South African passports, travel takes a bit more time and planning.
Tips to avoid cancelling your partner’s plans
– Provide a wish list of countries to travel to, with corresponding visas required
– Make sure your partner knows which visas you have so they could book a ‘surprise’ trip
– Don’t be put off by visa admin, the opportunity for travel is possible with planning
During our travels, we usually learn, out of courtesy and custom, a few colloquial phrases local to the place in which we find ourselves. While it is not possible to become fluent within months of dating someone who speaks a foreign language, we can try. But language will always be the most difficult barrier to overcome in a cross-cultural relationship. Learning a new language with its nuances, colloquialisms and slang is difficult and takes a great amount of time and patience.
Another smaller linguistic obstacle is accent. Anyone who has met or dated an Australian or a Kiwi, knows that they do not sound like us even though we all speak the same language! And it needs to be said that despite cultural similarities, there is still much for us to learn about these Antipodean nations.
Tips when communicating with your foreign love interest
– Learn a few popular phrases
– Carry a pocket dictionary
– Help them with English/ Afrikaans/ isiXhosa if they are willing to learn
And so the bard’s sentiments about the unruly course of love are still prevalent today. However, love doesn’t choose race, ethnicity, nationality or language, it chooses a person. And if that person is the right one for you, the obstacle will seem small in comparison to the opportunity you have found.
