I wipe away at tears that stream down my cheeks as I listen to Kurt Darren’s Loslappie – ‘O ek wil huis toe gaan, na mamma toe.’ Robbie Wessels De La Rey and Player 23 follow. These songs gnaw deep inside, to the very core of my being.
Using the ‘chat’ facility, I send my son a message, ‘Are you homesick?’ and almost instantly a message appears on my screen, ‘So much, mum! I wish I could go back.’
It hurts.
My daughter says, ‘Mum, England is nice and I’ve made some really nice friends, but I will ALWAYS be South African.’
We did not just make a hasty decision to leave South Africa, where we were all born. It was something my husband and I had spoken about many times during the course of many years as we watched the political situation playing out. Did we have a future? Did our kids have a future? Were we safe?
Finally that decision was made for us as we watched more and more of our friends becoming victims of crime and unemployment. It was now or never as we entered our 50’s and still with two school-going-aged children.
With dual nationality we did not have to worry about work permits and we were lucky enough to have my husband find work in England and a house to rent while I tied up some loose ends in South Africa.
We’re loving England. We’re loving the fact that you can walk the dog in the evenings, sometimes even at midnight. My husband commutes from London and sometimes takes the last train home, walking from the station after midnight. My son makes his way to college and back by train and my daughter catches a bus to school. If she misses the bus home, she takes a leisurely stroll back home and stops to throw pebbles in a little clear stream.
If only. If only South Africa would take crime seriously and do something about it. If only everyone could make a conscious decision to work together for once and for all. There is so much opportunity, so many good people and so much talent. Such a beautiful country.
Will we go back? I’d like to think that one day we will. I do believe my children are gaining an experience of a lifetime by being here. There is no education for children than one gained from travelling, meeting new people, seeing different ideas and ways of operating.
It is very difficult to leave members of the family behind as you head off to another country. The leaving family are often frowned upon slightly with a you are deserting us feeling from the remaining family.
But first and foremost our responsibility lies with our children and providing them with the best and safest opportunities that we are able to. If we go back to South Africa one day, their experience in England will sit comfortably in their memories and they will have gained richly from it.
In the meantime, my dream is for South Africans of all colour and creed with their rich diversity to come together finally – and honestly.
