Starting at their website, we mailed their press agents a good few times, only to be bounced around like a double Gloucester cheese wheel zorbing down a hill in Somerset. We tried personal contacts and sourced names and scrounging for the inside scoop. Hell, we even typed Yoland Visser into facebook, to find she had only 663 friends (and a decidedly different haircut). Clearly not our Yolandi.
But since the interweb was dominated by all things Die Antwoord a few months back, with it the name Yo-landi Vi$$er became as well known as her line ‘jou ma se p**s in a vis-paste jar’, and we figured she needs minimal introduction to the South Africans of the world anyway…
With dollar signs in her name, this chick is the pimp daddy of zef women everywhere. She may be small and nymph-like with her petite look, but do not underestimate the power of Yolandi! As one third of the interweb explosion, it is our deduction that Yolandi is in fact the queen bee of this online hive of activity.
Comprising key attributes of female greats, her waif like figure like that of Kate Moss and her gold hot pants taken from Kylie’s style guide of sexy, yet her elf-esque haircut is utterly unique in the realms of feminine fashion, a bowl haircut at the front and a bog-standard mullet at the back.
But there is so much about this woman that we don’t know – is she really as zef as she makes out to be? Does she actually speak in that Lolita child-like way? And in the original Die Antwoord hit ‘Enter the Ninja’, when she sings that ethereal and strangely synthed refrain, is that truly her voice and singing style?
Their website also states that she had a baby with Ninja, the main Die Antwoord dude. And a secret inside source has confirmed that they named the kid ‘Sixteen’. Rumours have also down their rounds of Ninja and Yolandi being married. But their website says they are not. So it must be true. Or not.
With the hype taking off on the interweb faster than a lady of the Red Light District can say ‘100 Euros please’, these guys are in fact all about illusion and theatrical display. You can see it in their stage performance, they pulsate and gyrate their characters. Even other musicians have commented on their uncanny ability to stay in character while backstage, as if method acting for music. Ninjas survive by stealth afterall.
Yolandi is also an actor, apparently. But why does that not come as a surprise. Is life not the ultimate stage and being an elaborate character in a band is just an elevated variation of that stage? News of her Yolandi reached someone high in Hollywood, for she was recently approached to play the lead character in the Millennium film series of the Stieg Larsson books. Apparently she turned them down.
Which ties into what her profile says on the official Die Antwoord website, ‘Yo-landi likes to do her own thing and doesn’t like people telling her what to do.’ Hmmm, a true artist indeed.
You cant argue with the immense amounts of views for Enter the Ninja on YouTube! Or can you? What do you think of their music?
As for Yolandi – do you think she is hot? Or not?
