When I started writing this, I realised that I knew very little about the origins of Valentine’s Day, so I did a little researching. According to Wikipedia, Saint Valentine`s Day (the full holiday name) is a holiday to commemorate martyred Christian priests and bishops. Apparently many Christian martyrs were named Valentine, and this link to romance only surfaced around the 14th century. Huh? How did sacrificing one’s life become tied to love for an intimate partner?
Uhhh, yes, now it makes sense.
When I think about Valentine’s Day, a few thoughts come into my head: cuddling, kissing, sweaty palms, whispered sweet nothings in my ear…and mostly, chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate! I can’t help but associate Valentine’s Day with chocolate when I think back to my childhood and how excited I was one year in primary school to receive a sweetie pie from a boy I secretly had a crush on; and even more so in high school when I received a P.S chocolate with an accompanying note in which “ek smaak jou stukkend” was inscribed.
Those were simpler and cheaper times. How things have changed! Today it seems we’re not sure of our partners love for us unless we receive diamonds, gold, huge bunches of flowers, hotel rooms, spa getaways, expensive restaurant meals or tickets to the opera. We’re inundated weeks before, with lavish images of unnaturally happy couples doing fabulously romantic activities and going to great strides to find the perfect gift, even trying to capture the moon for that special someone! No wonder those singles out there feel inadequate, lonely, and insecure and couples who don’t meet this ridiculously extravagant standard, bizarre, inadequate and cheap.
Why do we compare ourselves to these manufactured scenes, when the reality is that relationships are hard work, expensive, and their value frequently minimised, by regular relationship status changes on Facebook?
With all this in mind, I’m still not suggesting boycotting Valentine’s Day. I recognise the value in having a day that celebrates love and the sacrifices, whatever that might be, that come with it. Rather, I’m suggesting choosing to celebrate your love for someone else 365 days a year, not just the one day you’re reminded to, or because everyone else is doing it. Furthermore, and more importantly, I’m challenging you to have a wonderful, happy and romantic relationship…with yourself; treat every day as if it were Valentine’s Day and indulge in a lingerie, chocolate, wine or naughty toy shopping splurge. This way, whether you’re single or not, you’ll never be lacking in loving.
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